Of Toothpaste and Trolls
by Unsuspected
Summary: A Halloween oneshot focusing on two Halloweens in the young Hermione Granger's life.


If Hermione Jean Granger had to place an exact date on when she realized how very hopeless she was in the social department, it would have to be the thirty-first of October, 1986.

It was, of course, Halloween. She had only just started primary school, and found the subjects positively fascinating. Boring as it was to read such simple books, there was nothing quite so special as being in a building full of such knowledge. And there was nothing quite so exciting as being in a building full of other children equally eager to learn.

Though Hermione Granger would not know this second pleasure from experience, for the children in her class were far from this. The children in her class were loud and unfocused and not all that bright. There were a few nice people—like Sarah and Amy, for example, two very nice girls who were in Hermione's class—but no one quite seemed to share the girl's thirst for knowledge any more than they shared her large front teeth or her extraordinarily bushy hair.

Halloween, on the other hand, Hermione believed to be an excellent time for her to make a few more friends. Maybe she could even tutor them if they needed. She'd even gone out of her way to look up a bit on the history of the holiday.

So at eight o'clock, a girl wearing pretend glasses that fell down her nose, with bushy brown hair tied up in a once-very-tight bun appeared at school, carrying several thick books, beaming.

"I'm a librarian," she said excitedly to Sarah and Amy, who were both dressed as cats.

"Hermanee," interrupted a caped boy who had clearly not yet learned how to say her name properly, "you aren't wearing a costume."

"Yes I am, Roger," Hermione said. "Look." she gestured wildly at herself.

"You _always_ look that way," Roger argued, and a few children giggled a bit.

"Well," Hermione huffed, a few strands of hair already coming loose from her bun, "that's not very nice at all." With that, she turned back to Sarah and Amy, talking once more about their costumes.

Just before the students of room 102 were dismissed, they were given the assignment of counting the different types of sweets they got, a chart already made for them on a black-and-white worksheet full of pumpkins and blank lines for answers.

Stuffing their assignment into their backpacks, the children discussed whose houses they'd visit. It was not, of course, rocket science, for the hunt for sweets was simply going as far out into the neighborhood as your parents would let you. If someone from your class lived on the same street, you went to their house. If they lived farther away, you didn't.

Being the small school that it was, however, almost half of Hermione's class lived on one of two streets meeting at the corner on which the girl's house was located.

And so that is where so many people went.

And so Hermione Granger lost a rather lot of possible friends that day.

Her parents, being dentists, simply did not find it to be proper to hand out sweets. What sort of example would they be setting, after all?

But they were not the type to hand out apples, either. Not even oranges or pears or anything like that. And especially not popcorn balls. Never, _ever_ popcorn balls.

Hermione Granger's parents distributed toothpaste.

She had never had much of a problem with her parents' profession, nor with their habits of good dental hygiene. It was wise, was it not, to brush and floss your teeth several times a day?

It was not wise, though, to ask others to do the same, apparently. The next day at school, it seemed very few of her fellow students were talking to her. Even fewer than usual. Even Sarah and Amy didn't seem very interested in making conversation. Really, the most anyone seemed to say to her was, "There wasn't a space for _toothpaste_, you know."

It wasn't very nice to be an outcast, though it wasn't like she had ever really fit in to begin with.

So for the following four years at school, Halloween was even less enjoyable.

Just before the fifth anniversary of this event, however, Hermione had been feeling slightly more hopeful than she had previous years.

She had just entered a new school, and for the first few days, she couldn't have been more excited. All of the new things to learn, all of the new books to read. It was simply overwhelming. Centuries of knowledge in a single building, not to mention all of the people just like her!

But her hopes about her peers never did seem to work out well. No one seemed to like her any more at Hogwarts than they had at her old school.

Which resulted in another rather dreadful Halloween for the Muggle-born witch with more hair than could possibly be necessary.

That Ronald Weasley was positively horrid!

Not only was he a complete idiot, he was rude to boot! And even Harry Potter, who she'd been so fond of when he was just a person in her textbooks, wasn't so fantastic! He was even friends with Ronald.

Honestly, she was probably even enjoying herself more in the Hogwarts bathroom all alone than she would have been doing in the Great Hall surrounded by such people.

Though later that night, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley being friends proved not to be so dreadful. They saved her from a troll, and actually seemed for a moment to tolerate her.

And Ronald wasn't an idiot—he was actually really smart—and Harry was proving to be worthy of all the praise he'd gotten in those books.

Halloween, was in fact, becoming much more of an appealing idea to Hermione Granger.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Remember how I said that Logic would be the last thing I posted for a while? I lied. I wrote this sort of this morning-like 2 a.m.-ish-and I felt guilty leaving you with something like that. Though this admittedly isn't much better. Thanks for reading, dears. I hope you enjoyed.<strong>


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